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whyme
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sad Skeletons
« Thread started on: May 25th, 2012, 4:35pm »

Hi,
I'm happily married with two kids (6&3). I have an opportunity for a new job which will require us to move to a city near an ex girlfriend. We almost got married. I called it off and ended the relationship, she was very hurt. Things did not end properly and loose ends remain.
My wife is extremly sensitive about the topic and she is the jealous type. Before we got married, I told her about the ex, so she knows (that was the last time we talked about it). But I left out the details and the intimacy that I shared with the ex. If she finds out she will be very hurt. I'm constantly looking over my tracks and live in fear, because Iím afraid that someday my ex will resurface. In which case it will freak out my wife and cause all sorts of friction and endanger our current relationship. If I take this job I would just be asking for it... I'm scared.

What should I do? Reject the new job offer and not move?

Thanks
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TrueNorth
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sad Re: Skeletons
« Reply #1 on: Dec 7th, 2012, 10:59am »

I'm married 15 years, three kids etc...

My wife and I both had multiple ex's before getting married. In fact I don't know of a single person in my life who didn't have an ex.

The way you are talking about your ex is like it's some sort of deep dark secret. You chose to be with your wife and you made a life with her, end of story.....sort of

I have no idea what the following means;

"Things did not end properly and loose ends remain"

What loose ends? How did things not end properly?

To me it sounds like you still have relations with this ex and if that's the case you have serious issues that you are going to have to face sooner or later.

No one can really help you though because you haven't explained yourself thoroughly enough to understand the whole story.
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