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thismomentis
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xx Need advice, about life path
« Thread started on: Jul 18th, 2012, 7:03pm »

Hello,

I need some advice, im feeling really lost about the life path that i have chosen. im a 27 year old woman, and I am currently attending FIU studying to be a dietitian. the problem is i still have weight issues myself. i have gained and lost 100 lbs more times than i care to say. i liked myself when i was thinner and there were times i felt beautiful.

but even then i wasnt completely happy with my body, i hated the stretch marks and all the imperfection, i hated obsessing about dieting, and exercising. my self esteem has always been horrible.all my life my dad has dont nothing but criticize what i eat and call me fat. i recently encountered a website talking about fat acceptance, and the value that a person has at whatever weight they are, and their rejections of people trying to force them to lose weight.

i feel so tired of waiting for my life to start, and hoping if i attain the perfect body i will finally find a partner, finally have a life. im sick of putting myself down and saying awful things to myself. but i cant deny a part of me would love to just be normal, and be at a normal weight and give in to what everyone wants.

when i lost weight, everyone told me i was beautiful and gave me so much attention. i gain back the weight and its like i no longer exist. i dont know what i want anymore. i dont know what i want from my life anymore and just feel so lost. a part of me just wants to continue hiding from life and keep avoiding choosing and making a choice on the life i want.
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TrueNorth
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xx Re: Need advice, about life path
« Reply #1 on: Dec 7th, 2012, 12:11pm »

I'm significantly older than you. In my early to mid 20's I was working out 4 to 5 times a week and in pretty amazing physical condition. Health became my life and I even started the business I run today based on my focus on health. Then life kicked in....I got married, had 3 children, business grew...you know, life stuff.

As I took my focus off of my health, I slowly started to change. It was almost imperceptible at first and then I would bump into people I hadn't seen in 10 years and the look on their face spoke volumes. My wife was concerned about my weight gains, as was my father and kids. Each took occasion to speak with me about it. Through it all I was in denial, I guess it was my coping mechanism. Maybe if I would have reached your point, I would have dealt with it sooner.

My father eventually begged me to go to a weight loss program, which I was NOT a fan of doing. Still his persistence paid off and he brought me to a meeting and essentially paid for a 6 month program and told me it was my birthday present!! When I saw how much he had paid, I was mortified. I had to commit to the program or risk having my father waste $2000+. At first I was very angry but I persisted in following the plan and then slowly I started to 'buy in'. I was fortunate, the program he brought me to was a well thought out, no nonsense, rational approach to eating. I went in at 233 lbs and I am now stable at about 170 lbs.

The weight transformation was amazing but what most amazed me was my change in the way I related to and thought about food. For the first time I felt in control of my food consumption and I felt the ability to eat the way I am eating for the rest of my life. The program I joined is local, so I'm not trying to sell you something. What I am trying to sell you on is committing to changing the way you live your life and the way you eat. This is something that can be controlled and maintained.

The way you are feeling about yourself may not feel good, but you are confronting some very important questions. That is a great first step. At the end of the day "what you want from your life" is secondary to your health. Losing weight in a healthy, intelligent, sustainable way will give you a foundation with which to build upon. That process has to start with being OK with loving yourself. Love yourself and respect yourself enough so that you can be OK with looking after yourself FIRST. Sounds selfish, I know, but it's not.

Without caring about yourself first I sincerely beleive that you will be unable or severely hampered to move forward and properly care for someone else (children, spouse etc..). Good luck!!

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