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Nullpointer89
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xx Crossroads Between Money and My Dreams
« Thread started on: Aug 3rd, 2013, 9:49pm »

Preface: I write to you today because I am having trouble applying and committing to a career because this dream that Iíve had since childhood is getting in the way.

Who Am I

I am 23 years old and I've graduated with my Bachelors in Computer Science in Engineering with a Concentration of Software Engineering. I am at a crossroads in my life between money and my dreams.

My Dream

To explain my dream, I have explain a very inner part of myself. Ever since I was little, I enjoyed school, and idealized mathematicians, and scientists that had founded all of this information that I was learning. I view many of these laws, equations to be the foundation blocks of mankindís knowledge. This knowledge is timeless and what I define to be humanity. My dream is to earn my place among these who had founded these laws, and to do that, I simply need to continue to do what I already love the most, study math, science and algorithms.

This is vague so to clarify, I want to contribute to the timeless mathematical and scientific knowledge of mankind and hopefully be recognized for it. To describe how much this means to me, the moment I came to this realization, 90% of my life made perfect sense. Everything I had done in my life was already indirectly lead me in this direction and, if I could snap and sacrifice my life to accomplish this goal, I would do it in a heartbeat.

The Unfortunate Truth

By the time I had realized this, it was my junior year of college. My grades in up until that point didn't mean much to me. I was much more interested in learning the content that I had found to be interesting. The result was fairly mediocre grades. No where near enough to get into graduate school.

And so I graduated bitter feeling like college was a giant farce, not about learning but, getting the good grades. On top of tha, I had taken many high level algorithms classes with little to no preparation for the job market. This leaves me with ~30k in debt and stuck in my parents house.

The Options

    Find an IT internship to work my ass off to garner a good income and live comfortably at a profession I'd might be reasonably happy with.

    Doing this would involve spending lots of my time learning skills for the industry. This is the option is what I've chosen (seeming the most natural), and am having significant trouble committing myself to. And by significant trouble, I mean this feels like giving up on my dream all together. So much so, that it's been 1.5 years out of college and still have a lot of trouble applying for work.

  1. Pros: I would have the time/money about to pursue many side interests, the accumulation of which would keep me quite happy. I could possibly garner enough money quickly enough to retire early into a very cheap lifestyle and pursue my dream then.

  2. Cons: It feels like giving up on my dream. Impending mid-life crisis.



    Find the highest paying job I can find with the lowest cost of living possible, so I can maximize my free time for my continued study. This is presumably ANY job regardless of quality.

  1. Pros: Could lead to more free time in studying and learning.

  2. Cons: Sacrifices many other auxiliary desires. Sacrifices my pride, monetary gain, quality of life



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