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KayKay
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xx Are you Wise? PLS share your Wisdom & Guidance
« Thread started on: Dec 9th, 2015, 9:30pm »

Hello,

I am currently 33 years old (turning 34 in Feb), in second year University (or college if you're reading from the states).. I originally started school to go to law school. My husband is also in school, and he finishes this August 2016. I am hoping to finish in April 2017.

Here are my thoughts I need advice on please:

1) We want a family, but we live in a crappy basement apartment.

2) 5% down - 20% down payment for a house.. it just seems impossible. So we should stay here for 1-2 years and save when he gets his first job in Sept 2016? It seems overwhelming..

3) I feel like having a normal life with a happy family "seems easy" but it's SO hard when 2 people are students, older, and in debt after graduation.

4) I still want to go to law, so I feel that if I have a baby asap, and then I can try to get into law school after the baby is between 1-2, but then I fear I may not go.. then I have a 3 year philosophy degree...OMG scary!

I feel confused, lost, and just need someone wiser told help me understand how to live a successful life. Some people just seem to have all their ducks in a row.. how does one get their ducks in a row?

I am always giving advice to people and always helping others...well I need it now.

We are an ambitious couple who went to school much later, because we want to get out of low income lifestyle and get into better positions in life.

I want to be successful and get out of poverty, but I want a family too

If you have any wisdom please share

Anyone have any life advise?
cry
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jjwinkle
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xx Re: Are you Wise? PLS share your Wisdom & Guidance
« Reply #1 on: Dec 10th, 2015, 4:30pm »

Everyone needs to prioritize their objectives in life. You especially need to with respect to your family and career hopes, because you do not have time to comfortably do both in the coming few years.

Your choices are basically these three:

1) Promptly after your husband graduates and gets fairly reliable employment try to start a family. Delay your own continuation of education until an indefinite time in the future. Note that education can be delayed, but, in your case, childbearing can be delayed only about four more years, safely speaking.

2) Continue at university, try to get into law school and try to work as a lawyer. If you do this, you should realize that having your own biological children is unlikely.

3) Try to do both school and child(ren) simultaneously. With something as ambitious as law school, the combination will be a heavy load and stressful, although some people seem OK with it. You could make the load lighter by doing something less ambitious such as training to be a paralegal. Or you could get in some classes in human resources management, court reporting or tax preparation, for example, to much more quickly reach a decent salary. You husband's field of study and consequent earning potential are very germane to how much emphasis you need to put on bettering your own earning ability. Also, you can avail yourself of online learning, which doesn't require babysitters.

Don't try to emulate what other people have done or expect - it's not relevant. Don't try to compete with others. Do what, overall, will make you the most comfortable.

Also, bear in mind it's possible that neither of your objectives will be easy to accomplish.

The basement apartment should be fine for a baby, provided it doesn't have a health issue such as mold.


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KayKay
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xx Re: Are you Wise? PLS share your Wisdom & Guidance
« Reply #2 on: Dec 13th, 2015, 7:30pm »

jjwinkle smiley

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your perspective on the matter.

I really appreciate it.

I feel so lost... I wish I had done all of this planning in my 20's...but I was too blind, and too busy trying to make it with my "art"... boy was I naive! I am aware now.

I just want to be happy... I hate that I feel cornered in some way and have to choose... stupid female body having limits.

The sadness of this whole situation can really take a toll on my emotional health at times.. sometimes it's like "what's the point"... I'll be too old to be a lawyer and a mom... then there's a whole positive/optimist/strong side as well that believes I can push past the obstacles.. .

regardless... thank you so much for your thoughts... so appreciated
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